Kid's eat free! (oh, but with a catch!)

"Kids eat free!"  Well, actually, TWO kids can eat free, because the average, normal family would never freakishly have more than two nuclear children, so we ONLY support giving a free meal to children who fall into the nuclear model of only two children.  Two parents = two children.  What, you had more than two kids?  You freak!  Don't bother bringing all of your children into our restaurant, because they won't get to eat for free!

Three kids!?  Freakish!
Four!?  Are you insane!!?
Five or more?  Call Obama!!!  Time for population control measures!

Coming soon:  Free dinner for all men who can prove they had a vasectomy!