(Here's a summary of the newest John Grisham legal thriller... that doesn't actually exist, but I think would make a great book, if Grisham would be to write it...)
The story: Kyle Swift is an up-and-coming attorney at a prestigious New York law firm, who's world is about to be shaken by an unmistakably incredible case that will rock the legal profession, and the world, with tons of thrilling superlatives!
Kyle is in his office one day, doing paperwork and looking at a picture on his desk of his two children and lamenting his vasectomy, when suddenly his receptionist calls and tells him that his appointment has arrived. In walks a woman that looks remarkably like Reese Witherspoon, except that physically she's greatly withered. You see, Reese is struggling with breast cancer but, being a Christian Scientist (which is neither "Christian" nor "scientific") she has avoided all cancer medications and treatments because, you know, "it's all in her mind!"
Anyhow, she tells Kyle about her history as a director of a Planned Parenthood Killing Temple in Texas. During that time she herself had a number of surgical abortions performed, and following these disgusting surgeries she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This puzzled Reese, as she lived a very healthy lifestyle and ate nothing but organic vitamin supplements and tree bark soup. How could someone as important and healthy as she contract breast cancer? Then she started doing the research and discovered that indeed there is a medically-documented link between abortion and breast cancer, and now Reese wants to sue the Abortion Killing Temple that performed the abortion that gave her the cancer!
'Whoa', thinks Kyle. This lawsuit could be huge, and could be dangerous! Those Abortion Killers won't take nicely to this legislation. And indeed they don't! As this high-profile legal case makes the news, soon mob goons are dispatched to take Kyle out of the picture, by means of thrilling high-speed car chases, shooting guns and black-legged-dart-frog poison darts! Kyle is on the run, wearing disguises and seeking out legal documents in time for court, but will he be too late?
Soon it's time for the trial, and it's pandemonium! The Abortion Temple has bought the jury, and the trial turns ugly! The judge goes insane! And then, when things look like they can't get much worse, Judge Wapner and Doug Llewellyn show up for the trial of the century!!!
Stay turned for this gripping thriller! John Grisham, if you're reading this, I will gladly give you the rights to this book, as long as Lavender Darwin is able to make a cameo in the courtroom somewhere (perhaps as a tough yet compassionate bailiff?)